All posts by Patrick Khayler

Patrick Khayler is a new author in the world of Erotic Romance.

Facebook Profiles

Now you go get an account. You fill in the information on your “Facebook profile” and this not only moves you inside the building housing all of those people you saw through the glass, this “profile” becomes “you”, the individual in the Facebook world.

The Profile. The profile you put into Fb is “you”. Each of the things you include in the profile is a “field” that is used to tag you and make you a searchable quantity. For instance, when I put in Patrick for first name, anyone one who searches for Patrick will get me and a very long list of other Patrick’s. When I add Khayler, searching for Patrick Khayler searches across two fields (first and Last name) and very few (only one) Fb pages are found. The other fields are equally important making you an ever more unique person/page as you fill things in. For example, when you fill in the high school field, anyone searching for that high school will find you within that list but it will be a big list. If you give a year you went to high school, you can be found in a much more specific group, people who went to that high school, in that year and have your name.

Using your profile you can now search and interact with other people (actually other profiles) and they can search and interact with you (your profile) but only based on data in the profile. In other words, you can’t be found by your college if you didn’t put your college in the profile. The profile you see (before you are friends) shows only the information that was put in the profile, the pictures that the profile owner has posted themselves, the friends that profile has and the posts (things the profile owner wrote or shared with him/herself). When you go to “about” you can see the rest of the information that the profile owner has placed in their public bio.

Importantly, not only can you interact with other profiles, marketers and salesmen can look for you because of what you put in your bio. When you gave the name of your high school, the Facebook algorithm found everyone who had filled in that same name in that same field and sent their profiles to you under “people you may know”. Similarly you will suddenly be the target of people who want to set up reunions, people who want to help you find old class mates etc. In other words: salesman.


1) Your Fb Profile page is your representation on Fb.

2) The fields you fill in under your profile bio define “who you are” and allow other people to search for you or people like you. Targeting.

What is Facebook

What is Facebook?

Think of Facebook as an entire world encompassing group of people (those who have Facebook accounts) with a variety of different interests. If you don’t have an account, you can only “window shop” this group of people. You can look through the glass and see all these people moving around but you can’t really interact with them. For example, log out of your account and go to Google. Look for yourself AND Facebook on Google. Open the pages that do not require Facebook sign in. That is the window display (your public page) “you”. Anyone, anywhere with a computer and a network can see that you. Different parts of that window display can be found using different search parameters but… Click on things in that window- nothing happens before you log on and you can’t log on until you have an account. This is a double edged sword. You can see but not interact with the people behind the glass but, they can’t see you at all.

Time for Facebook

Now you have to get a Facebook account. Why? Because it’s the best way to connect with people interested in the same things you are: i.e. writing, reading etc…

Getting an account is easy, you log on to, choose new account, enter the information requested and, there you are. But…

1) What name are you going to use? Again, back to the pen name post earlier. If you are going to use a pseudonym, make sure the email account you use to set up your Fb account is the one you used for your fans (email post above) and not your business account (email post above). Why? a) Because you’re going to get all kinds of email and become the target of spam. b) You probably want to keep your personal life separate from your business life and c) How much do you really want people to see about you? (below)

2) If you are going to use a fan page it will be linked to your Facebook page and it may be difficult for people trying to get a hold of you to tell them apart. Hell, it’s sometimes difficult for the person with multiple pages to tell them apart.

3) Don’t use your phone number for any part of the application process or you link your phone number indelibly to your Facebook page and you can even be searched for by that number. More importantly, it is very difficult, and sometimes impossible to unlink your number. I know, I know, the “remove number button”. Well, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. If you want your phone number out there, go ahead.

4) Anything you put on Facebook is public property, period. Wait, you say, stuff in my private area is only available to my friends. Wrong. It all goes into the giant algorithm that is Facebook and is interchanged all the time between people, companies etc. Your information and everything you put on Facebook not only makes you easier to find by people you want to find you, it also makes you easier to find by people you don’t want to find you (salesmen, marketers etc.). When you put a picture up and hit “public”, believe it. That’s not to say that this is a problem, only that you should be aware of it.

Best Menage

I added this category stream to find out what people were reading in the Menage Erotic Romance genre. I want to know what your favorite Novel in the menage category is and who your favorite author writing in this style is. Most importantly, I want to know WHY that is your favorite novel and WHY he/she is your favorite author. This is a genre that I really enjoy and I want make my own writing better. In order to do this I want to know what you like to read in this genre so I can read it too!

If you have time, please give the book title, author and publisher to give them credit. State whether it is “a trois” or other (i.e. Power Tools) and the modifiers MFM, FMF etc… Especially for me, is it a marital menage (married couple with a “Third”)? Feel free to give a synopsis or, whatever else you want to say. No rules.

Lastly, if you are an author, keep your name, website, fb, twitter info at the bottom. Free publicity. If people like what you read, they will read your books too. I will never post negative, personally directed flames. I promise.

Have Fun!!!

The Present

IMG_2700Ellora’s Cave ( has recently contracted my first novel for publication. The Present is a contemporary Erotic Romance about the possible and hopefully, the probable. There are no secret plots, no spies, no shootings and no time travel. Although I wrote The Present as an unconventional love story about a married couple, I wanted it to be a work that every reader could relate to regardless of sex, favorite genre or marital status. I wanted to create tale of love wrapped around fantasy fulfillment, sexual desires and untapped lust. A love story that suggests every fantasy you will ever have could be as close as a single conversation with your significant other.

The Present was originally written as a short story for my wife’s birthday. I don’t know who I was more nervous about showing it to first: My wife or Ellora’s cave. I was pretty stressed out about both but, I think giving it to my wife was the most difficult. When you create something from your heart and then show it to the person you love the most, you can’t help but be hysterically nervous. In the end, that person’s opinion is the only one that you really care about. Interestingly, the manuscript opened up all kinds of new lines of communication between us. Before we knew it, we were broaching subjects that we had only hinted about before and talking about things we both wanted but had never mentioned before. Yummy.

On its own, The Present rapidly grew out of control, becoming a complete novel before I knew it was actually happening. When I thought it was in the best shape it was ever going to be, I asked my wife who she thought I should submit it to. She didn’t hesitate for a moment. She wanted it to go to the home of her favorite authors, Ellora’s Cave. Since she has read more erotic romance than anyone I have ever met, I felt it was in my best interest to go with her suggestion. Besides, I didn’t want to sleep on the couch.

Web Design: Now what?

Well, you got your business email, your fan email, your DomainName, Web Host and your Platform? Now what?

Open your WordPress (or whatever you got) and take the tutorial. Please take the tutorial! Don’t just play. When you finish your tutorial THEN you can play. You are writing in high level script not HTML so you can’t really break anything. Change Themes (you’ll find out) many times. Add menus and links. Make test posts. See it on the web. Write yourself test posts. Try all the links see what it does. Upload pictures (remember privacy, once it’s out there it’s out there!) and take them down. Play play play! Don’t try to make it beautiful, it all starts to make sense (kind of). I promise.

Web Platform

The platform is the software you use to set up your website. Unless you speak HTML (the high level language all websites are written in) and don’t plan to learn it (I have neither the time nor the patience) you need a platform.

There are many platforms. I don’t know which are good or bad so… I got WordPress ( ). Where did I get it? You guessed it, I got it as Managed WordPress on Godaddy ( when I got my Domain name and Web Host. Bundled again. A few dollars more a month.

Web Host

I thought I was the web host?

Nope. The web host is the server (big company computers) that your web site is posted on. That way, no matter when or what time someone looks for your site it is always there. It doesn’t matter if your computer is up, down broken or whatever.

Where do I find a web host?

There are ton’s of them. I couldn’t tell you if one is better than another. I was on to get my Domain Name so I just got Web Hosting with them. It was bundled with my domain name and only costs a few dollars more a month. Just sign up when you get your name. That’s it.

What’s a Domain Name?

That’s what I said. Please read the posts in the “Building Your Website” post before this one and your life will be easier.

A Domain Name is the actual name/location of your website. For instance: or .net or etc.

Can’t I have anything I want?

No. If it’s already used by someone else you have to use something else. This can be a big problem if multiple variations of your name are already registered (remember the pen names post? I told you to search hard for this reason) for instance, was available but what if it wasn’t and,, etc. are also already gone. What are you going to use? In other words think hard early.

How do I get a Domain Name?

You have to register one through one of the big providers. I used It was very easy but, like WordPress, I haven’t used anything else so I can’t comment on those sites.

You go to the site, log in and search for what you want, if its available you can purchase it for 1-5 dollars a month. If not, you have to pick something else.


Don’t search until you are ready to buy. If it is available it will be gone soon and people scan the web for people searching registers. They will buy your name first so you would have to buy it form them (expensive). In other words don’t sit down to search registers until you are ready to purchase and have a credit card etc. It’s cheap now but doesn’t have to stay that way.

Building Your Website

Now you are ready for your first website right? This can be painful so first:

Read this post by Christopher Heng:

This is also excellent. I use WordPress so I am biased. I don’t know anything about other building software and I can’t comment on them.