All posts by Patrick Khayler

Patrick Khayler is a new author in the world of Erotic Romance.


I know, I know, you already have an email but…

  1. Don’t use your non-author work mail for your private e-mail if you want to keep your job.
  2. Don’t use your wife’s email (oops) if you don’t want to sleep on the couch.
  3. Wouldn’t you like to have a single E-Mail that is only used for your Author work and nothing else?
  4. Are you going to allow your fans to contact you on E-Mail
  5. As in the privacy post, if you use your current email to sign up for something (facebook, chats etc) and want to change your email later it can become very difficult or impossible.

I set up one e-mail just for author business and another for fan mail.

You can use ATT, Yahoo, Google or whatever, it doesn’t matter.

Set up your two accounts with different names (business and fan) before you start down the social media road.

I used gmail. Just search Google for gmail and follow the prompts for new accounts. It’s easy. By the way, start writing down all these site’s user names and passwords you will have MANY and you will never be able to remember them all.

Privacy Planning

As you start to add to your social media and contact sets you have to think about your own privacy and do a little planning. The World Wide Web is massively interconnected in ways you can’t even think about. More importantly, a lot of the places you sign up for intend to sell data on you to third parties: i.e. your phone number, your address etc.

  1. Never use your phone number for anything when setting up unless there is absolutely no alternative. Unless of course, you want to be called on your phone or have your sites looked up by phone number. It can also be VERY difficult to remove your phone number once it is put in (i.e. facebook)
  2. Assume everything is connected to everything else.

Pen names anyone?

It’s up to you to decide if a pen name is right for you. But first consider the following by Sylvia Day:

and Tracy Cooper-Posey.

That done now you have to pick a name. It should be memorable etc. but not ridiculous. Ask your editor for help if you’re not sure.

Now that you picked, do an extensive search on google etc. Why?  Because you want to find out if 1) Someone already uses that name 2) What is going to pop up on google when someone searches for you and 3) Whether or not you will even be able to get a domain name even close to your name or site you want.

If your searches yield no one with that name or more likely, a tolerable number of people or sites pop up on that search, you are ready for the next step.

Promoting The Book: The pains of social media

I decided to add this category to my blog in the hopes of saving someone else the pain I have gone through and to request your help to avoid future pitfalls.

You already wrote the book, titled it, got it accepted and are in the editing process: that’s a whole other topic.

What now?

Here we go…

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

As an author of erotic fiction, you will soon discover that the words you use most, those that describe genitalia, sex and sex acts begin to seem redundant. Unfortunately, you will also soon discover that there are very few “good” word choices. There are lots of “bad” choices and an almost unlimited number of “ugly” word choices. Reaching for your thesaurus or even on line thesauri rarely helps. Scanning your favorite novels helps a little, but you still find yourself disappointed in the number of available words you can actually use. For that reason, I wanted to start this discussion with the hopes that we, as a writing community, can find the maximum number of “good” words we can use, determine when they should be used and hopefully, avoid the “bad” and “ugly” all together.


Euphemisms: You can always reach for these. However, they have their place and can easily be overused, becoming boring for the reader.¬† More importantly, when describing a sex scene, editors don’t want euphemism. They want absolutely clear sex. That being said, they can be used in between sex so that your “go to” words are reserved for more explicit scenes.

When off the cuff as innuendo: “You never get tired of my cushion though, do you?” or, “Someone better be filling my well soon…”

When you want to hint: “You’ll get your dessert soon. I expect you to eat it slowly.”

The character trying to sound naive: “He touched…. You know… Down there.”


Vagina: One of the truly great words. Not only do more than 50% of the people on the planet have one, there is no possible misunderstanding regarding what you are talking about. However, although it is descriptive, it can be very clinical sounding and difficult to make it “sound” sexy. I have tried to use it sparingly to break up to frequent use of the word “pussy”.

There is no substitute for vagina in a clinical setting. That is the only word a doctor will use. “I’m afraid your vagina wasn’t meant to do that.” or “I have to insert this in your vagina in order to see what is really going on.”

The naive again, she doesn’t have any other words for it: “You mean in my… Vagina?”

I love it for expletives: “You want to put that inside my vagina? Are you out of your mind?”

Of course it can be sexy too: His lips lingered on her clit before moving on to the world’s most succulent¬† vagina.


Pussy: Hands down, the single best word in erotic romance for the female genitalia. It’s hard and works well in sex scenes but it can also be soft and easy to make it sound sexy. As a man, I can tell you, it’s sexy as hell when a woman uses it.

Her: “You want my sweet pussy don’t you?”

Him: “I am going to take that tight little pussy apart.”

Sexy: “Her succulent pussy was the portrait of pleasure.”

Derogatory: “He’s a little pussy.” or “I wouldn’t touch your pussy if you paid me.”

You get the picture.