Category Archives: Promoting The Book: The pains

Describes what I have learned and what I wish I hadn’t leared navigating Social Media as a newbie.

Facebook Friends


Before you are “friends” you can only look at the other profiles you see. You can LIKE the things you see and even SHARE (below) to your timeline but, you won’t know when they post new things, you won’t see things they haven’t marked as “public” and you can’t POST on their timeline. In order to obtain these privileges you send a “friend request” and they may or may not “friend” you based on your mutual interest, pictures, friends, bio or lack thereof. If they do, you can see everything on their page, even things that aren’t public. You can also Post on their timeline and they receive the same privileges from you.

Your timeline lists everything that you post on your page in order but it alos lists things that people you “follow” post. YOUR “Posts” are permanent (until you delete them) on your page whereas things in your “timeline” (other peoples posts in addition to yours) are transient, forever being pushed off by newer posts from you and all your friends you follow. In addition, if you are “following” someone, everything they post on their page also appears on your timeline. Your timeline is NOT your profile page. The only things that are on your profile page are things you posted there and things you “share” publically. “Sharing” off your timeline posts to your page.


Your POSTS are fixed forever on your page until deleted and become transient on your friend’s timelines if they are following you.

Your Friends POSTS are fixed on their page but transient on your time line.

When you SHARE from your timeline you are taking something transient off of your timeline and posting it to your page making it permanent (until you delete it)

Remember, you can “follow” a friend or your can have a “friend” you don’t follow. I follow profiles that have interesting content and unfollow them if they are posting the same thing over and over or posting things I don’t want to see. I unfriend and unfollow them if I don’t like their content or comments.

When you friend people you further define who “you” are. Think of the Facebook world as a huge collection of bios with the profile information you put in (above). Bios with similar profile information are linked by Facebook but this is still a massive amount of bios. When you “friend”, you start to link with other bios directly (your friend) and indirectly (their friends, and friends you have in common). Your “people you may know” changes as you add more friends because “you may know” that persons (profile) friends and they may know yours. Now, fields on your profile that are in common with fields on your “friends” profiles start to further define your Fb identity. If you and your friends are all “interested” in romance, you will be solicited by publishers, other writers, writers etc. Think of it as a big Venn diagram and the targeting areas are where the rings of the diagram overlap.


1) every time you post something all your friends see your post on their timeline (if they follow you). Transient.

2) If you share something to your page, all your friends see what you shared on their timeline (if they follow you). Transient.

3) If you LIKE something your friend posted, the person who posted it will be NOTIFIED that you LIKED their post.

4) If you comment or share a post that your friend posted they will be NOTIFIED that you commented or shared their post.

Facebook Profiles

Now you go get an account. You fill in the information on your “Facebook profile” and this not only moves you inside the building housing all of those people you saw through the glass, this “profile” becomes “you”, the individual in the Facebook world.

The Profile. The profile you put into Fb is “you”. Each of the things you include in the profile is a “field” that is used to tag you and make you a searchable quantity. For instance, when I put in Patrick for first name, anyone one who searches for Patrick will get me and a very long list of other Patrick’s. When I add Khayler, searching for Patrick Khayler searches across two fields (first and Last name) and very few (only one) Fb pages are found. The other fields are equally important making you an ever more unique person/page as you fill things in. For example, when you fill in the high school field, anyone searching for that high school will find you within that list but it will be a big list. If you give a year you went to high school, you can be found in a much more specific group, people who went to that high school, in that year and have your name.

Using your profile you can now search and interact with other people (actually other profiles) and they can search and interact with you (your profile) but only based on data in the profile. In other words, you can’t be found by your college if you didn’t put your college in the profile. The profile you see (before you are friends) shows only the information that was put in the profile, the pictures that the profile owner has posted themselves, the friends that profile has and the posts (things the profile owner wrote or shared with him/herself). When you go to “about” you can see the rest of the information that the profile owner has placed in their public bio.

Importantly, not only can you interact with other profiles, marketers and salesmen can look for you because of what you put in your bio. When you gave the name of your high school, the Facebook algorithm found everyone who had filled in that same name in that same field and sent their profiles to you under “people you may know”. Similarly you will suddenly be the target of people who want to set up reunions, people who want to help you find old class mates etc. In other words: salesman.


1) Your Fb Profile page is your representation on Fb.

2) The fields you fill in under your profile bio define “who you are” and allow other people to search for you or people like you. Targeting.

What is Facebook

What is Facebook?

Think of Facebook as an entire world encompassing group of people (those who have Facebook accounts) with a variety of different interests. If you don’t have an account, you can only “window shop” this group of people. You can look through the glass and see all these people moving around but you can’t really interact with them. For example, log out of your account and go to Google. Look for yourself AND Facebook on Google. Open the pages that do not require Facebook sign in. That is the window display (your public page) “you”. Anyone, anywhere with a computer and a network can see that you. Different parts of that window display can be found using different search parameters but… Click on things in that window- nothing happens before you log on and you can’t log on until you have an account. This is a double edged sword. You can see but not interact with the people behind the glass but, they can’t see you at all.

Time for Facebook

Now you have to get a Facebook account. Why? Because it’s the best way to connect with people interested in the same things you are: i.e. writing, reading etc…

Getting an account is easy, you log on to, choose new account, enter the information requested and, there you are. But…

1) What name are you going to use? Again, back to the pen name post earlier. If you are going to use a pseudonym, make sure the email account you use to set up your Fb account is the one you used for your fans (email post above) and not your business account (email post above). Why? a) Because you’re going to get all kinds of email and become the target of spam. b) You probably want to keep your personal life separate from your business life and c) How much do you really want people to see about you? (below)

2) If you are going to use a fan page it will be linked to your Facebook page and it may be difficult for people trying to get a hold of you to tell them apart. Hell, it’s sometimes difficult for the person with multiple pages to tell them apart.

3) Don’t use your phone number for any part of the application process or you link your phone number indelibly to your Facebook page and you can even be searched for by that number. More importantly, it is very difficult, and sometimes impossible to unlink your number. I know, I know, the “remove number button”. Well, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. If you want your phone number out there, go ahead.

4) Anything you put on Facebook is public property, period. Wait, you say, stuff in my private area is only available to my friends. Wrong. It all goes into the giant algorithm that is Facebook and is interchanged all the time between people, companies etc. Your information and everything you put on Facebook not only makes you easier to find by people you want to find you, it also makes you easier to find by people you don’t want to find you (salesmen, marketers etc.). When you put a picture up and hit “public”, believe it. That’s not to say that this is a problem, only that you should be aware of it.

Web Design: Now what?

Well, you got your business email, your fan email, your DomainName, Web Host and your Platform? Now what?

Open your WordPress (or whatever you got) and take the tutorial. Please take the tutorial! Don’t just play. When you finish your tutorial THEN you can play. You are writing in high level script not HTML so you can’t really break anything. Change Themes (you’ll find out) many times. Add menus and links. Make test posts. See it on the web. Write yourself test posts. Try all the links see what it does. Upload pictures (remember privacy, once it’s out there it’s out there!) and take them down. Play play play! Don’t try to make it beautiful, it all starts to make sense (kind of). I promise.

Web Platform

The platform is the software you use to set up your website. Unless you speak HTML (the high level language all websites are written in) and don’t plan to learn it (I have neither the time nor the patience) you need a platform.

There are many platforms. I don’t know which are good or bad so… I got WordPress ( ). Where did I get it? You guessed it, I got it as Managed WordPress on Godaddy ( when I got my Domain name and Web Host. Bundled again. A few dollars more a month.

Web Host

I thought I was the web host?

Nope. The web host is the server (big company computers) that your web site is posted on. That way, no matter when or what time someone looks for your site it is always there. It doesn’t matter if your computer is up, down broken or whatever.

Where do I find a web host?

There are ton’s of them. I couldn’t tell you if one is better than another. I was on to get my Domain Name so I just got Web Hosting with them. It was bundled with my domain name and only costs a few dollars more a month. Just sign up when you get your name. That’s it.

What’s a Domain Name?

That’s what I said. Please read the posts in the “Building Your Website” post before this one and your life will be easier.

A Domain Name is the actual name/location of your website. For instance: or .net or etc.

Can’t I have anything I want?

No. If it’s already used by someone else you have to use something else. This can be a big problem if multiple variations of your name are already registered (remember the pen names post? I told you to search hard for this reason) for instance, was available but what if it wasn’t and,, etc. are also already gone. What are you going to use? In other words think hard early.

How do I get a Domain Name?

You have to register one through one of the big providers. I used It was very easy but, like WordPress, I haven’t used anything else so I can’t comment on those sites.

You go to the site, log in and search for what you want, if its available you can purchase it for 1-5 dollars a month. If not, you have to pick something else.


Don’t search until you are ready to buy. If it is available it will be gone soon and people scan the web for people searching registers. They will buy your name first so you would have to buy it form them (expensive). In other words don’t sit down to search registers until you are ready to purchase and have a credit card etc. It’s cheap now but doesn’t have to stay that way.

Building Your Website

Now you are ready for your first website right? This can be painful so first:

Read this post by Christopher Heng:

This is also excellent. I use WordPress so I am biased. I don’t know anything about other building software and I can’t comment on them.


I know, I know, you already have an email but…

  1. Don’t use your non-author work mail for your private e-mail if you want to keep your job.
  2. Don’t use your wife’s email (oops) if you don’t want to sleep on the couch.
  3. Wouldn’t you like to have a single E-Mail that is only used for your Author work and nothing else?
  4. Are you going to allow your fans to contact you on E-Mail
  5. As in the privacy post, if you use your current email to sign up for something (facebook, chats etc) and want to change your email later it can become very difficult or impossible.

I set up one e-mail just for author business and another for fan mail.

You can use ATT, Yahoo, Google or whatever, it doesn’t matter.

Set up your two accounts with different names (business and fan) before you start down the social media road.

I used gmail. Just search Google for gmail and follow the prompts for new accounts. It’s easy. By the way, start writing down all these site’s user names and passwords you will have MANY and you will never be able to remember them all.